Recoupling in Mid-Life and Beyond: From Love at Last to Not So Fast.

Divorce rates have dropped in the United States, except for couples over 50 where they are rising steeply, along with rates of late-life recoupling. Both stepcouples and their young adult and adult children in new older stepfamilies are often surprised to find themselves facing many of the same challenges that younger stepfamilies do. Some challenges are even intensified by the decades-long relationships and additional layers of extended family that come with recoupling after mid-life. Stepfamilies formed in later life must also negotiate decisions about estate planning and elder care among stakeholders who often have sharply divergent agendas before there is time to establish trusting relationships. This article describes the "normal" challenges facing stepcouples who come together over age 50. It provides evidence-informed guidance for therapists in meeting these challenges on three levels of clinical work: Psychoeducational, Interpersonal, and Intrapsychic/Intergenerational. As in younger stepfamilies, "family therapy" must usually begin in subsystems-often the adult stepcouple and parent-adult child. The article then describes a particularly fraught subgroup of recouplers: over-50 fathers and their new partners, where the dad's young adult or adult daughter is very unhappy with his new relationship. In these latter stepfamilies, father-daughter repair must precede stepfamily bonding. Stepfamilies that are preceded by a partner's death and those that begin with affairs are also discussed. Finally, some "easy wrong turns" for therapists are described.